Standing Up: Making the Best Out of Surviving the Worst by Mary L. Devine

Dates Read: April 22, 2025 – April 25, 2025
Expected Publication Date: May 6, 2025
Source: paperback ARC via the publisher

Goodreads — Amazon

This book is currently available for preorder and is set to release on May 6, 2025. Get your copy today!

First of all, I want to say that this book may be triggering for some, as it gives detailed accounts of domestic violence. Here are some trigger warnings I found:

Domestic violence – descriptive, on page
Mention of rape of a minor
Miscarriage
D&V procedure
Death of an infant
Drug use
Alcoholism
Gaslighting
Manipulation

This is the story of a woman who went through not one but two marriages that would shape her into the incredible detective she would become.

It takes such courage and someone who has gone through a tremendous amount of healing to be able to tell their story, especially when it’s as devastating as Devine’s. After surviving her first husband, who was very physically abusive, she ended up in a second marriage with a recovering alcoholic who went back to alcoholism and had some pretty heavy secrets he had been hiding from her. Yet, given her experiences, she used what she knew, what she felt up to that point in her life, and she chose to become a detective who would help other victims of DV. It truly takes a special person to enter a profession like that without having experienced anything akin to it. But for someone to have gone through the trenches and then come out on the other side, ready and willing to hear and help these other victims… that is something remarkable.

Not everyone has someone who will help them stay away from their abuser and see reason. Not everyone has the patience to deal with someone who can’t stop going back to their abuser, much less the ability to understand why they do it. It’s such a hard thing. For everyone. The way Devine approaches it when she’s on the outside looking in on these situations, as law enforcement, is so spot on. It’s so easy to get frustrated and try to take matters into your own hands, but that’s not the way to do it. All we can do is channel our inner Nurse Sarah and hope they remember the compassion, care, and concern we show them. In hopes that they come to realize what that compassion, care, and concern really mean, and they can understand what to do next.

Odds are, the abuser isn’t going to always get the punishment they deserve, and that’s something else this book brings to light. The decision to get out is such a heavy one, as it is still so hard in some states to bring the abuser to justice. However, I think Devine does a beautiful job of showing us that, regardless of the legal system, it is possible to get out and create a better situation for oneself. As she shows in her story, there are going to be hard questions in the beginning, but there will always be answers, even if they aren’t available right away.

We all need a Nurse Sarah. When a DV survivor writes a book like this, chances are, the author acted as someone’s Nurse Sarah. More books like this. More recognition of this harsh reality that many people face. More support from each other. I’m here for it. I’m here for this book. I hope this book will be a tool to help more DV victims muster the courage to leave and make a better reality for themselves. Sometimes a DV survivor’s powerful story is all it takes.

**Thank you to the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!**

Trauma creates change you don’t choose.
Healing is about creating change you do choose.
-Michele Rosenthal